-We have a garbage disposal for a reason, that reason being so the leftovers you kept in the fridge for a month don't stink up the house sitting in the fucking garbage can.
-Wash your damn feet. You are a grown ass woman, why are there dirty foot prints all over the bathroom floor after you take a shower?!?
-Don't leave your bootleg porn DVDs in my DVD player.
-It's great that you love my cats, but knock it off with the bringing people over just to show them my cats. Although that one woman who exclaimed ''look at the golden one!'' when she saw Oz did amuse me somewhat.
-Don't leave your used douche sitting on the bathroom counter.
-Please stop with the cooking dinner in the middle of the night on the weekends when you get home from the club. That's what Taco Bell and Waffle House are for.
-Stop using the toilet paper to take off your makeup. Buy some damn cotton balls.
...And this is the best housemate I've ever had. Christ.